i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
