I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
