It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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