just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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