He uses pillows to masturbate.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
