I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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