it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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