You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
