u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Randomize
