I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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