I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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