This is not my ceiling
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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