One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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