I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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