My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
