No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
