it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
