one word: firstdatebathroomanal
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
