New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
