i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
