And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
