I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
