Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Plan B is the new Plan A
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
