wakey wakey hands off snakey
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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