hotel room ftw
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
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