I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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