thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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