Having a random hookup so left but love u
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
