If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
my shit smells like andre
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
