Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
