I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize