I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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