i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
