Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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