Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
