You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
