i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
