For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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