they need to just BURY HIM!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
