im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
