There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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