can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
