You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize