There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
someone owes me an orgasm
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
