I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
