He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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