Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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