Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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