you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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