Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
