Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
