Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
