I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize