I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
