Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
There are leaves in my underwear?
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