Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I FOUND THE LEGS
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
