I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
