I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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