cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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