I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
